Interviewer:Hello Dracula. I hope Halloween this night has been alright for you.
Are there more tricks or treats tonight?
Dracula:I vant to suck your BLAAAAAAA-ck licorice. I don't know about tricks or treats, but I do know some of the costumes here suck.
Interviewer: I see you're enjoying those treats Dracula. Can i have any?
Dracula: Are you 600+ years old? I thought not. You can have some in the afterlife.
Interviewer: Dracula you haven't changed since the last time we met! What is that there you got in that hand? Seems like blue blood. Going for a different angle this year?
Dracula: My agents tell me the whole "red blood dripping from your teeth thing" is kinda out right now, and I should instead wear sparkles in my hair. I said screw that crap, I'll make my own gimmick. Blue blood - the blood for real gangsters.
Interviewer: Surely Dracula youre not a gangster. I mean are you going to an after party?
Dracula: No of course not, I'm staying home and smiting some n00bs on DotA- oh wait, that's right I'm not a virgin! Dude I am the life and soul of any party...metaphorically. But to answer your question, no I have to stay home. Mum says I have to drink my blood like a good boy.
(interviewer comes closer)
Interviewer: Between you and me, is there any "candy" you would like to share with me?
Dracula: In all my afterlife I have never batted for that team.
Interviewer: Dracula before we wrap up this short interview with you. Is there anything you would like to say to our fans tuning in tonight?
Dracula: Donate blood...generously. VERY GENEROUSLY, SERIOUSLY I HAVEN'T EATEN IN WEEKS GUYZ.
Why does Dracula hate humans?
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