ARE YOU A NOOB?

Do you have problems with online gaming? Do you find yourself pointlessly jumping in FPS games, or running in circles in DotA or TKing in gunbound? Fear not, we have the perfect guide that will teach you how not to be a noob!

Even if you don't think you're a noob, read this anyway. Reminisce about the glory days where you were getting annihilated for expressing your noobness and enjoy reading this. Extensive research was put into this SO IT'S 100% ACCURATE. NO IFs BUTs OR MAYBEs! (no pun intended) :D

Rule 1: People who afk aren't necessarily noobs... they actually might have a valid excuse like "my wife is in labor" or "my dad sat on my computer"

Rule 2: Hide behind the pros. When choosing a team to join in a match, join the side with the most pros as you can easily hide behind them. This may seem like a cheap tactic, but it is the easiest way to ensure a victory.

Rule 3: If you get called a noob and start trash talking then you're twice the noob you were before that moment.

Rule 4: Refrain from 1337 speak. You think you may come off as smart, but in reality when you say "1 1337 h4><0|2" you look like you've been denied a proper education and functioning keyboard.

Rule 5: Don't be depressed if people called you a noob. Everyone was a noob at some point in their life so it's ok to be a noob for the first month or two.

Rule 6: Always refer to people online as a male, there is a 99.99% a girl avatar is being controlled by a dude (GIRL - Guy in Real Life). Under no circumstances should you believe you're talking to a chick in an online game, because you will only get laughed at.

Rule 7: Chicks generally don't like guys who game... especially noobs. Don't go telling the world you play a certain game until you're almost the best.

Rule 8: If seeking revenge against another noob, you do not necessarily have to kill them by yourself. Get a whole group of people to pwn them and you will have redeemed yourself. If you try to kill them by yourself and fail, you will appear as an even bigger noob.

Rule 9: Be proud of being a noob! It shows that you're willing to put in the time and commitment to make games easier to win and more amusing to play.

Rule 10: If you're playing a MMORPG, you do not need to pay attention to any of these rules. Just grind. GRIND 'TILL YOUR FINGERS FALL OFF!

THE GOLDEN RULE (Rule 11): KSing IS NOT NOOB! IT JUST SHOWS A DEEP AND RIDICULOUS DESIRE TO GET KILLS YOU DON'T DESERVE.

The End :)